What if she grabbed his ass and suddenly there was another earthquake in Haiti?
—Elliott
Guys. Make sure your webcams are charged!
—Caitlin
I wonder what the 9/11 commission report must be like if you read it while drunk.
—Me, drunk
I feel like you would have a better conversation with a vacuum cleaner. Because at least it would be making interesting sounds or something.
—Elliott
He wanted me to do purple haze with him, which is apparently marijuana!
—Caitlin
Oh my god it touches my brain!!
—Howell, drunk
It’s okay Dorian. You’re not a nigger.
—Michael Flores
aug 23 2012
- Kaleb: Alissa here's the address.
- Alissa: Okay!
- Kaleb: Do you know how to send GPS coordinates?
- Alissa: I can only do so much, Kaleb.
aug 23, 2012
- Alissa: Okay Morgan, just stay where you are, we'll find you. We love you!
- Alissa: *hangs up*
- Alissa: We're going to get our roommate killed.
